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Facebook’s “Graph Search” Is Out of Control

July 10, 2013

This week, Facebook released a Beta test of its new search function, Graph Search. While the program certainly makes stalking your friends significantly easier, its specificity can sometimes come off as downright weird. Take a look at what happened when I searched “Games My Friends Play.”

Games 1

Wow, this is really convenient. I can see what games my friends like! Farmville? Really? I wonder what else I can see…

SCREENSHOT

Ohh, I have friends that work at PlayStation? Cool!

 

ScreenShot Friends Friends

I guess their friends play fun games too…although, I don’t really see how that’s relevant…but okay…

Screen Shot 2013-07-09 at 6.53.29 PM

I’m confused.

2

Is this even English?

Screen Shot 2013-07-09 at 6.52.13 PM

Um.

Maybe it was just a weird glitch. I’ll try something else. Movies!

Movies 1

Wow, it has a map and everything! Slightly creepy, but I’ll take it.

Screen Shot 2013-07-09 at 7.00.08 PM

Okay, this is going somewhere…

 

Screen Shot 2013-07-09 at 7.09.15 PM

I mean…I don’t work at a movie theater but if I did, I guess I should probably like it, right?

 

Screen Shot 2013-07-09 at 7.10.03 PM

At least I can know where my stalkers work.

 

Screen Shot 2013-07-09 at 7.10.32 PM

I need new friends…

 

Screen Shot 2013-07-09 at 7.10.54 PM

So…how do I get the regular search bar back?

Screen Shot 2013-07-09 at 7.11.08 PM

Go home, Facebook. You’re drunk.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. July 11, 2013 5:52 am

    I seriously need to check this out.

    I want friends who work at Playstation and play games with friends I follow to work at Playstation!

    • Tyler Vendetti permalink*
      July 11, 2013 6:04 am

      Don’t we all…

      (Play around with it, though. It’s almost unsettling.)

  2. July 24, 2013 5:37 pm

    Hilarious. Have you ever clicked on the “see relationship” button on each of your friend’s pages? Facebook has these extra pages they create of your relationships and you have not control over. (I think it’s the “see relationship” button. I actually only clicked on it once, because thank God I found out about this function after I was married and didn’t find it that amusing or useful, but speaking of facilitating stalking…)

    • Tyler Vendetti permalink*
      July 24, 2013 5:38 pm

      Yes! I’ve seen those. The pictures they choose for your “relationship” always somehow end up being the most embarrassing picture you and the other person have ever taken together. I swear they do it on purpose.

  3. July 31, 2013 9:38 am

    So true! And aren’t most of the recently updated facebook functions really kind of creepy rather than useful? Anywho, just so I said it: you are one seriously funny girl! 🙂

    • Tyler Vendetti permalink*
      August 6, 2013 2:09 am

      Thank you!! I’m glad someone else (besides my mother/grandmother) thinks so. 🙂

  4. September 22, 2013 11:45 am

    haha I’m crying…..good work Pooper

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