Future Things That Might Happen On This Blog
I’ve been a bad blog writer. I know. I’m sorry. To be honest, I didn’t think anyone would find this page. It’s not that I don’t love you, Internet. We’ve spent so much time together over the past few years, I feel like you know me, and I’m not saying that because you remember all my cookies and monitor my web history for illegal activity (Hi NSA!). It’s just that I thought I had kept this page pretty well hidden but considering I now have 30+ followers, I guess I was wrong. Sure, I advertise blog posts on my Twitter all the time and yeah, my HelloGiggles page lists this URL, but so what? I don’t see your point.
Now that I’ve summoned you all here, I should probably give you something to read other than my ramblings, even though that’s exactly what you came here for. I have big plans for this page, and I’m about to share them with you because what kind of a relationship would this be if we didn’t practice complete and total honesty. For example, I barely ever floss. See? Your turn.
Right, back to the big plans. I have a few ideas for this blog that I’ve been envisioning for a while now. If I leave them in my brain any longer without writing them down, I’m afraid they’ll disappear forever, like New Year’s Resolutions or acting careers. I’ve been saying this for awhile, I know, but I really mean it this time. Pinky promise.
Here are the categories that I’ve thought of for this page. 90% of my future posts on this page will likely fall in the last category so don’t be alarmed if none of the categories below tickle your fancy.
1000 Awful Things: A play on the popular site 1000 Awesome Things but through my god-given pessimistic lens. In a perfect world, I would do one of these posts every day but because bees and insects that look like this exist, I must conclude that life is flawed and will thus be posting these on an irregular/slightly regular (maybe every other day or M/W/F) schedule. I haven’t really decided yet. I may also create a separate blog for these if I come up with enough ideas.
Not Funny Enough for CollegeHumor: For every 20 projects I attempt on Photoshop, about 2 of them come out looking intentional. If CollegeHumor rejects them, they end up here.
Skits-O-Phrenia: Zero percent of the things I write are about mental illness but I thought this would be a clever category title so we’ll just roll with it for now. Skits-O-Phrenia is the graveyard for all of the mini-skits I’ve written that I have nowhere to put. For those of you with video skills, feel free to turn them into recorded sketches, just make sure you credit me first. You must also deliver a new kitten to my door every day for the rest of my life (must be 8 weeks or younger, or small enough to fit into clothes taken off stuffed animals). Both of these requirements must be fulfilled before production begins.
Having Fun Isn’t Hard When You’ve Got a Library Card: I work at a library in the Fall/Spring, during which time I often discover odd book titles that make me question the nature of the publishing industry. When I find a particularly interesting one, I may post it here.
The Future Freaks Me Out: Has anyone read Brave New World by Aldous Huxley? Because I believe it is the root problem behind my paranoia surrounding the future. While this mostly includes the self-destructive path human technology is taking, this category would also include reflections on self-realizations, including the exact moment I realized waiters were starting to call me “Ma’am” instead of “Miss” at restaurants (a surefire signal of adulthood). I’m about to hit the big 2-0 this month, meaning I have ascended the throne of twenty-somethings and now have unofficial permission to broadcast my troubles to the world. (I blame Girls for this.) The Future Freaks Me Out is also the subject on which this blog was founded on. As in, “Hey there, future. You’re here early. Slow down, will ya?”
Stalled in Nostalgia: Like my column on HelloGiggles under the same title, Stalled in Nostalgia (a name which I am particularly proud of) will document my obsession with the past, Caulfield-style.
*Insert Title Here*: That’s not me just trying to be creative, I actually don’t have a title for this category, which will feature some of my photography because photos are my pride and joy (I promise to limit the Instagram uploads). If anyone has suggestions for a name, throw them out. Otherwise, I might stick with something cheesy like “Smile for the Camera!” and call it a day.
Shower Thoughts: Showers were not made for the purposes of human cleanliness. They were made as an empty space into which humans could release their burdens and allow new, obscure thoughts to enter. Many people have their most profound thoughts in the shower so I figured I’d make a place to express mine. I don’t have any ideas yet but I shower at least once a day so some are bound to show up eventually.
Grab Bag: Anything that doesn’t fit in the other categories.
Well, there it is. My life work meticulously planned out before your very eyes. If I die or become distracted by a different project before I have the chance to enact any of these plans, this post is irrefutable proof that at least I was planning on trying. It’s the thought that counts.