If Fairy Tales Were Made Into Movies
(I originally posted this on BuzzFeed but decided to share it here as well because I haven’t posted anything on my blog in awhile. Enjoy!)
I’ve noticed a trend in recent Hollywood film productions. It started with Red Riding Hood (2011) and continued with Snow White and the Huntsman (2012). In 2013, this pattern will continue with the release of Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters and Jack the Giant Killer (originating from Jack and the Beanstalk). Maybe Hollywood is running out of books to turn into movies or maybe they’re just trying to get people to appreciate childhood classics in a different way (that is to say, with million-dollar effects and 30 minutes worth of fighting scenes). I don’t know. All I know is, this trend doesn’t seem to be slowing down any time soon so I thought I might predict the next few Hollywood creations myself.
The Ugly Duckling Potential Synopsis: Haunted by the derision of the other ducklings, Cyngus flees from the public eye. It is only after he reaches adulthood does he realize his true swan identity… and the power that it yields.
– The animal kingdom is about to get ugly.
– There’s more to this duck than meets the eye.
– Anybody order the duck special with a side of revenge?
The Three Little Pigs Potential Synopsis: Thomas Giles is a successful farmer, a faithful husband, a loving father, and a mad scientist. When three of Giles’ genetically engineered pigs escape, he embarks on a race with town officials to hunt them down before it is too late.
– Kill, kill, kill by the hair of their chinny chin chin.
– They’ll huff and they’ll puff and they’ll blow your head in.
– These are no ordinary pigs.
Frog Prince Potential Synopsis: When Amanda is forced to marry an arrogant prince, she gives up hope of finding happiness. It is not until she meets Fred, a talking frog with a claim to loyalty, does she realize the true meaning of love.
– “I now pronounce you frog and wife.”
– Who said love wasn’t magical?
– One kiss could change everything…
Goldilocks and the Three Bears Potential Synopsis: When Goldilocks’ magic porridge is stolen from her, she enlists the help of three bears, Polar, Grizzly and Panda, to help her get it back.
– This adventure is justtttt right.
– When it comes to porridge, you don’t mess with these bears.
– One bowl to rule them all.
The Boy Who Cried Wolf Potential Synopsis: Prankster Aaron Jeckles has been crying wolf for years. When he takes one of his jokes too far, though, Jeckles quickly gets more attention than he’s ever wanted… from a pack of wild beasts. Now, it’s up to him to save his town
– What happens when a harmless joke takes a terrible turn?
– Aaron Jeckles let the dogs out. Now, he must put them back in.
– Are you afraid of the big bad wolf?