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Autocorrect Translation

December 2, 2012

Autocorrect Problems

 

For those of you being redirected here from HelloGiggles, welcome to my blog. If you are looking for the answers to all your problems, you will not find them here. If you are looking for answers to the Autocorrect article I just posted, however, you’re in luck. I have provided a translation below for your convenience. If you are not being directed here from HelloGiggles and have no idea what I’m talking about, click here, read the article (to the best of your ability), then come back to this page and everything will make sense again.

TRANSLATION:

Hello boys and girls. Today, I want to address the topic of autocorrect. Autocorrect is a tricky system. Every time I go to say something normal, my phone will change in into something completely different. It’s really starting to get on my nerves. Especially when I type something embarrassing to my mom or dad and I have to go back and correct myself. Isn’t that what autocorrect is for anyway? For correcting MY mistakes? I know that it’s mostly my fault. I type too quickly and sometimes, I don’t even look at the screen when I’m texting but I don’t have nearly enough time in the day. Plus, I’m always listening to music through my headphones, and music can be awfully distracting. I’ve been thinking about asking for a new phone for Christmas this year but I can’t think of any other phone that I would want. I’ve gotten so used to the touch screen function that I can’t imagine typing with real buttons.

I think we are becoming too dependent on technology. When I was a kid, we didn’t have fancy cell phones or gadgets. We had dial-up computers that would take hours to turn on and home phones with extension cords. Our TV was the size of a small cardboard box and texting didn’t even exist. You actually had to pick up the phone and call someone. No one does that anymore! Now we have things like Skype, Twitter, Facebook, and MySpace to avoid talking to people altogether. I bet in a few years, we won’t even need texting. Some scientist will invent a gizmo that will transmit our thoughts to another person instantly. I wouldn’t be surprised if flying cars are invented too.

These days, we don’t do anything ourselves! I’m not saying we should eliminate technology altogether and go back to being cavemen. There are plenty of inventions that I appreciate. (For the record, autocorrect is not one of them.) I like that wire that let’s you play your iPod through your speakers. I like those holiday cards that sing to you. I even like electronic books.

Life was so simple back then. We didn’t have to submit our essays online and Facebook was never around to help us procrastinate. Believe it or not, kids actually used to read books in their spare time (or, at least I did) or play with their Gameboys. School was a place for learning how to make friends, not essays. I remember looking forward to my Arts and Crafts class every afternoon. It made me want to GO to school! Haha! And let’s not forget about show and tell! When I had something interesting to share, I would not waste any time getting ready for school in the morning. But guess what? Kids nowadays have nothing to share! Parents seem to give their kids iPhones in Kindergarten. By the time they get to 5th grade, the coolest toy they own is an iPad. What ever happened to playing with Barbies and Beanie Babies? Why not share something unique like a homemade puppet or a pet rock? Is that not cool anymore?

I wish we could get back to the past sometimes, but I know that’s not possible. Time only goes forward. Eventually, we are all going to grow up and work in fancy buildings and make real money. We might even wear suits and carry briefcases. Who knows?Technology will continue to develop until one day, robots take over the world and humans become enslaved. (Okay, I’m exaggerating, but you never know!) Maybe one day, someone will even invent a phone with an accurate autocorrect function so people can actually understand what I’m typing. Guess we’ll have to wait and see!

ORIGINAL:

Jello boys and hurls. Today, I want to a dress the topic of autocorrect. Autocorrect is a trucky system. Ever time I goo to say something formal, my phony will change it into something comet melt different. It’s rally stating to get on my knees. Specially when I tip some thing ember raising to my mom or deed and I have to go black and correct myself. Isn’t that hat autocorrect is four ANY WAY YOU WANT IT, THAT’S THE WAY YOU NEED IT? Fur faxing my missed takes? I know that it’s mostly my vault. I type too quack quack and sometimes, I don’t even look at the scene when I’m sexting but I don’t have needy enough time in the bay. Plus or minus, I’m all ways listing to music through my headlights, and music can be lawfully detracting. I’ve been thinking about aching for a knee phone for Chestnut this ear but I can’t think of any mother phone that I wood want. I’ve got ten so used to the ouch screen function that I can’t imagine typing with real butts.

I think we are NEVER EVER EVER becoming too dependent on technology. When I was akin, we didn’t have funky cell phonies or gadgets. We had deal-up computers that would take whores to turn on and home phones wit hex tension cords. Our TV was the size of a small cardboard boxer and taxing didn’t even exist. You actuary had to pack up the phone and call someone. No one does that many more! Now we have things like Skip, Tweeter, face book, and My pace to avoid talking to people all together. I bet in a few tears, we won’t even need hexing. Some scenic list will invent a gizmo that will transmitten our thoughts to another per son instantaneously. I wouldn’t be SURPRISE if flying cats are invented too.

Therese days, we don’t so anything our shelves! I’m not saying we should laminate technology all together and go back to beating cavemen. There are plenty of inventions that I apprentice ate. (For the recording, autocorrect is not one of them.) I like that wore that lest you play your iPod through your sneakers. I like those holly cards that zing to you. I even lick electric books sometimes.

Life was so pimple back then. We didn’t have to submerge essays online and face book was NEVER EVER EVER around to help us procreate. Belie it or not, kids actually used to red books in their pear time (Orc, at least I did) or plea with their Gameboys. Cool was a place for earning how to make fried, not essays. I remember looking onward to my Carts and Rafts class every afternoon. It made me wont to goo to school! HAHAHAHHAH! And let’s not forgo about snow and hell! When I had something interesting to snare, I would not waste basket anytime getting ready for school in the mourning. But guess what?!?!? Kids now a day have nothing to spare! Parents seem to give their kiddies iPhones in kindle garden. By the time they get to filth grade, the coolest toy they own is an I peed. Whatevs happened to playing with Bar Beer and Bean Babies? Why not share something unicorn like a home aid puppy or a pet rock? Is that not cool anymore?

I wash we could get back to the pest sometimes, but I know that’s not popsicle. Time only goes forward. Even duelly, we are all going to grow up and work in fanny buildings and make real Monday. We might even wear suites and marry brief cases. Who knows? Techno will continue to develop until one day, robots take over the wild and hummus become enslaved. (Okay, I’m exacerbating, but you never knew!) Call Me Maybe one day, someone will even covet a phone with an accumulate autocorrect function do people can actuary understood what I’m typing. Guess well have to wait and sleep!

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